Never Alone: A Kakashi one shot
by assassinkarena
Summary: It was never her choice to die... Kakashi remembers his harsh past with his only love and regrets not being able to do anything about it.


Never Alone

A Kakashi one-shot

By assassinkarena

_For her not to... _

_That was never...her choice..._

_To Die..._

He kept reading his book as his students yelled at him for being late...yet again... Did he care? No...Not the least...this was nothing compared to what he did do... looking at that single kunai shaped stone with all the carvings of names in it...his best friends...some of his family...

The love of his life...

_Walking graciously down the hall, she was new here in Konoha. Her name..._

_Jinryu...Ame..._

_She never noticed that all eyes were on her, her perfect form, snow white skin, face as beautiful as a geishas...skills beyond what a regular ANBU could do... Her long black hair that shined with a purple glow illuminated any room she was in...Dark, almost black, purple eyes gleamed with brilliance...Compassion filled her heart...Kindness in her soul...But something...in her eyes...that no one ever noticed but 'him'...A loneliness that he too could understand... _

_Guilt... _

_Regret... _

_Sorrow... _

_Hardships... _

_Overflowing emotions that no one seemed to notice but 'him'..._

_To 'him'...she was known as something else..._

_Hatake...Kakashi... _

_The Copy Ninja..._

_A mysterious ninja that kept to himself most of the time...Never revealing his past to anyone...not until...'she' came..._

_She always called him the 'Lonely Wolf'...The first time she called him that...he _never_ could forget that moment..._

_The night was cool...moonbeams grazed her body as he gazed down at her. Her silken hair flowed around her body as the wind blew against the two of them. He had asked her to take a walk with him after the ANBU meeting that they had. _

_Small leaves fell from the trees. Making them fall to the small river that was beneath them as they stood on the bridge. The water rippled as the leaves hit the water. Suddenly she broke the silence..._

_"What...do you think of me?" she asked quietly, her voice ringing like sweet bells in his ears. _

_"What do you mean Ame?" Kakashi asked. _

_"What do you see?" She asked as she turned towards him. _

_"I see you." he said. _

_She chuckled slightly, "No. Not that exactly," she started to say, "What do you see in me?" _

_Kakashi stayed quiet for a moment, before answering, "I see...a beautiful woman," he started out saying. She looked at him, a blush on her pale face, "A beautiful woman...who's gone through many things in her life." _

_Ame looked at him stunned that he knew that about her. She told no one of her past, and yet...how did he know? _

_"What do you know?" She asked, keeping her emotions under control. _

_They both kept quiet for a few minutes before he started to answer. _

_"Well...I can see it," He said._

_"How?" she asked as she leaned on the bridges railings. _

_"I can see it in your eyes. You've lived a harsh life...haven't you?" Kakashi said quietly, almost a whisper... _

_Her eyes saddened; and she touched her chest; her heart ached. She clutched her clothes in that spot and Kakashi noticed. _

_"How," She started out saying. _

_Kakashi looked at her strangely, tilting his head slightly, "How what?"_

_She looked at him, her eyes about to overflow with tears. His eyes quickly filled with regret. _

_"How long have you known?" She asked him. _

_He stayed silent for a few minutes before answering, "Since I looked into your eyes." _

_She looked away from him. She whispered, "I see..."_

_They both said nothing...Seconds turned to minutes...minutes turned to hours... _

_Yes...they both stayed quiet for 3 hours, just staring at the calm river below them. Kakashi's - visible - clam eye kept taking glances at her. She would feel his look upon her and she would look back, but it was too late. He already avoided her eyes. He didn't want to see her eyes again, the hurtfulness in them that made him feel like he wanted to commit suicide._

_"Kakashi," Ame said as she looked back at the small river beneath them again. _

_He tilted his head towards her. Her form resting on the railings as her hair slowly fell off the sides of the railings, shimmering in the moonlight. _

_"What do you think suits me best?" she asked, her eyes hidden beneath her hair. _

_"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked. _

_Such wisdom in her voice, difficult questions that made his brain go on pause so he could think it through. _

_"What do you think you would call me?" she asked. _

_"Ame, I don't understand," Kakashi replied. _

_She chuckled slightly, "Your fathers name..." _

_Kakashi's eyes widened. His father Hatake Sakumo... _

_"Known as the 'White Fang'...am I not correct?" she said as she turned towards him. _

_Kakashi turned his head the other way, curving his eyebrows, making a sad look on his facial features. _

_"Hai, it is..." Kakashi replied silently. _

_"You're father...was a good man, ya know...?" Ame said, trying to make her voice happy, failing miserably. _

_He could hear her choking on her words as she continued to speak. _

_"He...he cared for you...and me," she choked out. _

_Kakashi looked at her with a sad expression, diamond like tears were falling from her eyes. _

_"I-I thought of him as a second father, ya know," she said as she clenched her fists together. _

_"But how could you have known him? You just moved here and since he was my father..." _

_"He...came to our village before; he was on a special mission that lasted for a few good months." She started saying, "At the time that he stayed there his feeling for our village changed. We all thought of him as a hero when he completed it. In the time that he and I spent together, we made a father-and-daughter relationship, him being several years older and all. He considered me his 'daughter' as well."_

_She paused. But he didn't dare interrupt though. _

_"He came back at one time; he had to complete another mission. Retrieving something and," She started, "When one of his friends was captured..." _

_She looked at him, but he looked away. _

_"He went back, to rescue his friend. But...when he abandoned the village, you knew that he was criticized by the whole village and that's when..." _

_Both of them stayed quiet for a long time, before Ame finally finished, "Until he went into a mad state and then...brought his own death with his own hands." _

_The two of them were dead silent, only the rippling of the water was heard as more leaves fell into the water. _

_"But...when he was beginning to leave, before...he...did 'that'...he." she paused again as more tears came out of her eyes, expressing the agony that she was going through. _

_"He promised that he would come back and visit. But...he didn't, and, when we found out that he...that he committed suicide...that drove our village into a crazy state. We wanted to help with his friend though..." _

_Kakashi felt his insides burning up. How did she know all of this? When did she find out? How long has she known?_

_"But we didn't do anything...we couldn't do anything...we would've though...if we were stronger." she said. _

_Kakashi looked at her. _

_"I know what you're probably thinking." she started out saying. _

_Kakashi had a questionable look on his face, "What do you mean?" _

_Ame shifted slightly, having her weight on one leg._

_"I mean by you're probably thinking that it's our villages fault for the cause of your father's death and the loss of your friends." she said. _

_Kakashi's eyes widened, "How-How do you know about them?" _

_She smiled lightly, "I know a lot of things Kakashi..._

_"He...always talked about you, ya know."_

_"What did he say?" Kakashi asked. _

_"He said...'I'm proud of my son he's accomplished many things becoming strong just like his father!'...That's what he said whenever he had the chance, he would tell people about you, that's how I first found out about you..." _

_She chuckled slightly, which made Kakashi even more confused. _

_"What? Did he say that, 'But this one time he did this, or did that'?" Kakashi asked. _

_"Iie...when he was alone with me he told me about you that he told no-one else," she started out saying, "He told me that the girl that he fell in love with would be the most luckiest girl on Earth. He said that he would love her, protect her, listen when she's mad, laugh with her when she's happy...and..." _

_Kakashi looked at her, 'So...this is what my father said about me,' he thought._

_She paused; Kakashi listened intently on every word that she spoke. _

_"Hold her when she's sad. Love her even more when she loves him back..." _

_Kakashi continued to listen without taking his eyes off her._

_"Do you know what I think of you?" she asked. _

_Kakashi perked his head up as she spoke, "Hmm, what do you think I am?" _

_"Like your father...'White Fang' ya, know?"_

_Kakashi looked at her, trying to figure out what she was really trying to say._

_She chuckled slightly, seeing the confusion in his visible eye. _

_"To me...Kakashi," She started out saying; he loved to hear her name come out of her mouth, caressing the soft flesh of her lips as they left her. He looked at her intently as she spoke, _

_"You...are my 'Lonely Wolf'," she said. _

_Kakashi looked at her, ''Lonely Wolf'...there must be some explanation for it,' he thought as she looked back at the water. _

_"It means, Kakashi," She started; he looked at her hands that were folded in front of her as her elbows rested on the railings, "You are never alone...so never forget that." she finished._

_Kakashi turned his gaze to look back at the rippling water. _

_She stood up straight, her arms falling to her side. _

_"Daijobu?" she asked. _

_Kakashi nodded slowly. _

_"Hai I'm alright." Kakashi responded. He turned towards her, meeting his gaze with hers. His visible eye curving upside down, making a happy look on his face as she saw his smile from beneath his mask. _

_But she didn't believe him. _

_"But... there was one thing your father did say badly about you..." She said as she turned around and started to walk away. She stopped about three steps from where she started. She didn't turn around to say this to the male, "You're a horrible liar." she flat out said. _

_Kakashi sighed in defeat, "I guess you're right." _

_She chuckled, "Heh, heh...even a top ANBU Black ops member is worse at lying than a child." _

_Kakashi chuckled as well, "Hey, what can I say?" He said as he put his hand behind his head and scratched it. His beautiful silver hair that defied gravity swaying with the wind as it blew on the two Black ops. _

_Ames hair licked around her frame as she turned back around to look at him. _

_"So...do you know why I'm here?" she suddenly asked; a smile on her face. _

_"Um you...you moved here because...I don't really know actually." Kakashi said slowly. _

_She chuckled. "Never mind!" she said happily as she walked towards him. _

_Kakashi looked at her funny as her face came right in front of his. But he was really surprised when she lightly laid her soft lips onto his masked cheek, making him want to have not had his mask on. _

_Wanting to have her lips actually contact his cheek, feeling her desirable lips on his._

_She stepped back, and turned around, her hands behind her back, walking away casually as he stood there...stunned for words._

Kakashi slowly walked away from his students, declaring that the day that they had was off, so he wouldn't have to train them, too troublesome. Besides...he had other important things to do.

He walked over to the kunai shaped stone once again. One had one hand in his pocket and the other tracing a name...

_Jinryu Ame_

A memorial was placed under her name in an honor for the _deed_ that she had done.

_Jinryu Ame_

_The 'Cryptic Angel' of Konoha _

_Died in the honor of sacrifice to her village_

_A true genius_

_A true shinobi of Konoha_

Those words that were written on the stone, carved in there, making it impossible for him to forget that they were there. No matter how many times he wanted to erase them, but they were already carved in his mind...Never to leave...

'Ame...you lied, you know,' Kakashi thought as he continued to stare at the name, 'You said that I would never be alone.'

He paused, as he thought, "But...I'm not _that_ alone as I thought I was. I have new students now Ame, you would be proud of them as well." Kakashi started to say to the stone. "There's Haruno Sakura, a very intelligent konouchi for her age. The smartest in her class, she's not very good with Taijutsu but her Ninjutsu and Genjutsu are slowly progressing...

"Then there is Uchiha Sasuke, a very good student, the number one rookie of the year. He's one of the Uchiha survivors. You already knew that his clan was killed by Uchiha Itachi though...he is excellent with Taijutsu, and his Ninjutsu is incredible. I don't think that he has ever tried Genjutsu, but I know that he will be one of my best students. But...I still worry about him, him being an avenger it might get to his head, and then...something terrible could happen..."

"Lastly...There's Uzumaki Naruto, the 'Number-One-Hyperactive-Knuckle-Head' of Konoha. It sorta reminds me of when I gave you a nickname...Do you remember that?"

_Kakashi once again asked Ame to accompany him on a walk after another ANBU mission. To the same place as always, the bridge. _

_It has been eleven-months since the incident of the Uchiha clan murder; and about a year after the last time she gave him the nickname of her own..._

_Almost every single day they had a meeting, and, unless they were on missions, then they would come to the bridge every night. And, if the other was gone, and they were still there, then they would still come anyways, and stay there for a few good hours._

_Once again they were silent; they would say things here and there. But, once every night, she would always ask, _

_"Do you know why I'm here?" _

_He would only say, "I don't really know..."_

_Then she would smile, and then give him a kiss on his masked cheek. This went on for a year, everyday._

_He soon realized that what his father said...what she told him long ago...about him, when he fell in love with a girl; she would be the luckiest girl on Earth to have him. But...he was wrong. _He_ would be the luckiest man on the Earth...only...if she loved him back..._

_Over the year that they had spent together, they realized that they had similar past, wants for the future, and funny things that they just told each other. How he was into his 'special books', although, she didn't mind, not at all. Not caring if he was perverted. She was surprisingly into cooking. _

_They both started to trust the other more and more with every passing day. Soon, instead of the normal silent talk at the bridge, it was a...well...talkative one. They both started to talk more and more, and occasionally he would invite her to have dinner with him sometimes, or she would ask if she could cook for him, although, she never really got to see his face, because she respected his privacy, so, when she would cook for him. He would bow to her as she left the room with a smiling face. _

_Even though they would both talk more, it doesn't mean that she wouldn't stop asking the question that she asked him everyday, and him replying with the same answer..._

_But then, one day, it was different, she asked him..._

_"Do you know why I am here?" she asked like everyday._

_This time, instead of answering with, "I don't really know," he answered with this, "I don't really know...but will you tell me?" he asked her. _

_She smirked, "Well, it's about time you answered different!" she said not snobby, but playfully. _

_He gave her a questioned look as he raised his eyebrow that was visible so she could see the confused look on his face. _

_She chuckled at the sight, his raised eyebrow. She knew that he was demanding an answer from the look on his face. _

_"Heh, heh, um...Kakashi," She started out happy, but then her voice became sadder with every word. _

_"Kakashi, the real reason why I moved here was because of the war that is going on," she started out saying._

_He ushered her to continue, tilting his head to the side, "What do you mean?" _

_"Kakashi I was sent here," she started out saying, he kind of didn't want her to continue, but, he looked at her to press her on. _

_"I was sent here to be a sacrifice." she said sadly._

_He looked at her with such confusion in his visible eye. If she could've seen it, his mouth was slightly parted. _

_"W-Why!?" he asked loudly as he pushed himself from his leaning position from the railing. _

_She didn't move though, "Because before the Hokage knew that I was, well me... our countries agreed, that one of royal blood...should be sacrificed to be the treaty between our two countries, so...what the Hokage and our Lord agreed on, was that, I could live here for two years without being harmed, unless I allowed it. The treaty was to be made at the end of the two years, and I shall be sacrificed to be the treaty between the two countries. But after the Hokage found out that I was me, and how I acted like, he regretted ever making the treaty. He said that I was too young to die. He was expecting someone to be of old age, so that they had lived there life to the fullest. So in forgiveness, he let me join the Black ops... because I have always wanted to be one." _

_As she finished, Kakashi's eyes were overflowing with the emotion of sadness. Even his ANBU training could not stop him from showing his emotions for this. The one woman that he loved, the only woman that he has ever loved, it could never be._

_Ame saw this, she turned to him, "Kakashi the war will stop. I agreed to be the sacrifice for the treaty anyways." _

_At these words, he started to raise his voice, but she knew that it wasn't on purpose, "What?! Why!? Why in the world would a Lord, your Feudal Lord, want to sacrifice you!? Why did you choose it!?" he turned his back on her and walked away a few steps. She saw that he clenched his fist. _

_"Why Ame, why did you have to choose it?" Kakashi asked his voice lowering. _

_"Because it is to protect the ones that I love most," Ame said as she walked closer to Kakashis form, placing a hand on his shoulder. She felt that his shoulder slowly gave away the tenseness in his body._

_"And one of those people...is right in front of me." she finished. _

_Kakashi slowly turned around, looking into her eyes, a small smile across her face. _

_His hand slowly trailed up her arm, up to her shoulder and across her collar bone and slowly moving upwards; caressing her cheek gently. _

_"Ame do you know how long I have waited to hear you say that?" Kakashi asked gently as he tucked some strands of hair that were in front of her ear behind and then slowly returning to caressing her flawless face. _

_"Do you know how long I have waited to say those words to you?" She asked back. _

_"Do you know how long I've waited to do this?" Kakashi asked while his other hand was moving its ways to his face. It slowly brought down his mask, revealing his handsome facial features. _

_Ame slowly ran her fingers across his cheek, trying to take in his beauty. _

_But just as slow, Kakashis and Ames faces slowly got closer, centimeter by centimeter. _

_When their lips finally touched, she felt a warm sensation overflow her body as electric sparks flew between them, feeling as if she was flying without wings; him feeling the same way. _

_She kissed him with such passion un-known as he got to her addicting taste. Slowly, his tongue trailed her bottom lip; asking for entrance. She slowly opened to him as she wrapped both of her arms around his neck, and his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him as his mind sank into her sweet taste._

'Ame you don't know how much I miss you,' Kakashi thought as he clenched his free hand that was at his side as the other traced her name on the K.I.A stone.

'I've been so lonely without you here.' He thought as clouds started to form overhead. When it started to rain, it didn't stop him from staying there...

'Ame I should've done something, anything, I wish I should've but I couldn't. I'm so, so sorry. Do you think that you could ever forgive me?'

Kakashi felt not only the rain on his whole body, but felt something that started to trail down his face from his eyes. A liquid that was colder than the rain fell from his eyes in a never ending waterfall...

'This was the same day that you had to leave me.' He thought as fell to his knees; tears still falling from his face.

"I'm so sorry Ame!" He yelled for the world to hear. He pounded on the ground once with his fist, causing the ground to crack again.

There were several cracks there in the solid ground, all from him. Every year he would do this.

"I-I also remember that this was the same day that I resigned from an ANBU," Kakashi said quietly as he kneeled and still placed his hand on Ames name. "It's because of you Ame. I didn't want, I guess, to have to guilt on my shoulders."

"But I know that I could never get rid of it." he said to himself.

_'Do you know why I'm here...?'_

He stood up, looking in every direction to find out where the voice was...

'Was...was that...Ame?' Kakashi thought as he looked back at the K.I.A stone. He touched the name once more as a tear slid from his eye again as it landed on the name.

He remembered one thing...that she said to him that night as well.

_"I love you...Kakashi...My 'Lonely Wolf'..." _

And, he also remembered what he told her...

_"Well...I love you more...My 'Cryptic Angel'..." _

He slightly smiled from beneath his mask as he remembered the old memories. 

"Well, Ame, I finally know..." Kakashi said aloud as he looked at the sky. It was starting to clear from the grey clouds.

'You were there to teach me a lesson,' He thought, 'a lesson in which I will never forget...'

Kakashi looked at the stone once more as he slowly turned around and slowly started to walk away.

"That I... am never alone..."


End file.
